Grateful Day 30: Gratitude

By definition, gratitude is an "appreciation for benefits received".  I often think about the words to the song "Because I Have Been Given Much" and very truly blessed for all the gifts I have been given.  I have been given so much.  I think about all of the blessings in my life and I am very appreciative for those blessings and benefits.  I am thankful for a my family that loves me with all of my short comings and faults.  I am grateful for the knowledge of the gospel, for the sacrifices made on my behalf by my Savior, for my testimony and for my eternal family.  I am grateful for a husband who honors his priesthood and completes me where I am deficient - especially grateful to him listening to Spirit and taking one class at MCC that I happened to be in.  I am even grateful that he pulled my hair to get my attention.  I am grateful for my handsome, strong and just plain awesome sons, Hunter, Hayden and Bryson.  I recognize that that everything in it is a true gift, a treasure to keep safe and take care of - never take for granted.  I want to try to live by the words of "Be Grateful" and demonstrate that gratitude - not just express it.  We hope you had a very happy Thanksgiving and carry the spirit of gratitude into the Christmas season.                                       

Halloween - 2012

One of our family's favorite holidays is Halloween.  Halloween is full of different activities and it is the kick-off to the holiday season.  We love dressing up.  Our family always decides on a theme and we dress to that theme.  This year was no different - the boys decided on Super Heroes.  Brian was Superman, Hunter was Spiderman, Hayden was Captain America, Bryson was Ironman and I was Wonderwoman.  I love watching them get ready and take on their character.  There was pumpkin carving, trunk-or-treating and our annual family Halloween party.  

We had a lot of fun and made some "haunting"memories together.  

Pumpkin Carving - 2012

Pumpkin Carving - 2012

Trunk-or-Treat - 2012

Trunk-or-Treat - 2012

Annual Halloween Party - 2012

Annual Halloween Party - 2012

Grateful Day 29: Hugs & Kisses

All my love - from here to the moon and back

As I am pondering today what I am grateful for, I can't help but to think back to when our boy's were little.  I remember holding them and kissing them as much as I could.  I remember when they got a little older, their little arms around my neck when they were scared, hurt, sad or just needing a hug.  I remember them learning to give kisses and blow kisses.  I remember when they learned to say "love you" back when I said it to them.  I remember their little feet running to greet Brian or I upon our return home and their little faces just beaming.  (Yep, the tears are flowing...)

Some things never change - my boys still give the best hugs and kisses only now they also recognize when I need a hug or "love".  They end every phone call, text or evening with an "I love you" or "Love you too" even if they are with their friends.  And instead of kisses, they give "winks".  And I couldn't ask for more.  I am so grateful to be a mom and to have this joyous experience of raising my beautiful boys.  I adore them and I hope they know that their love and encouragement as well as the memories we share are by far one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 28: Employment/Schooling

I think that one of the biggest things in my life that I take for granted is the careers that both Brian and I are fortunate to have as well as the opportunity to go to school.  After being a stay at home mom for 12 years, returning to the work force was scary to say the least.  But a wonderful manager at University of Phoenix was able to see the things I do as a stay-at-home mom and how they translated into the business world.  She called me a Domestic Engineer which I thought was so wonderful.  After working at University of Phoenix for 4 years, I was offered an opportunity at the Boeing Company, which was ideal because at the time Brian also worked here.  I have been with Boeing for 6 years now and feel incredibly fortunate to have the career that I do. 

Brian has an awesome job as well that he started in November of 2010 after being with Boeing for 7 years and then laid off due to military cut-backs.  The back story to his new job opportunity is one that really built and solidified my testimony in tender mercies and that Heavenly Father is aware of me even for small and simple things.  He was laid off for approximately 4 months.  I LOVED working with Brian - spending so much time together was amazing and I never once took that for granted.  Not having him here was incredibly difficult and I was heartbroken.  I remembered one morning feeling sorry for myself because Brian and our boys were all asleep and going to be staying home because the boys were doing online school.  I remember thinking that the only reason I had returned to the work force was because I was so lonely when Bryson went to school and the school said I could not accompany him to 1st grade (true story).  Anyway - I remember feeling very upset and crying on my way into work.  As I approached my building, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the Spirit and reminded once again that Heavenly Father was aware of my sadness but ever so gently, He reminded me that I was the only one at that time providing for my family.  Without the job that I was begrudging so much, we would not have health insurance which we absolutely can not be without.  From that moment on, I have really tried to fill my heart with gratitude for my job even though the circumstances are not the same.  I am also so grateful for Brian's job.  He LOVES what he does and could not be more happy doing what he is doing. 

While I worked at University of Phoenix, I completed my bachelor's degree which was such a huge accomplishment for me because I never dreamed that I would have the opportunity to finish.  Upon my new employment at Boeing, I started my MBA-HRM degree and finished that about 2 years later.  After finishing my Masters, I decided to do a 2nd Masters in Adult Education so when the opportunity arises or I retire, I will be credentialed to teach in an online environment.  I completed that Masters last March.  I am truly grateful for the opportunity to complete my degrees and realize that I am very fortunate for those options.  Our jobs and my degrees are truly a few more of the treasures in my life that I am grateful for and continue to be humbled by the love of my Heavenly Father.   

Grateful Day 27: Forgiveness

One of the most tender treasures that I am thankful for is the gift of repentance and forgiveness.  I am grateful that I am able to ask those that I love for forgiveness for my shortcomings.  I remember telling Hunter one time that I was really sorry (in advance) for all the mistakes that I was going to make with him as he was our oldest and we had never had a 17, 18, and/or 19 year old young man before.  I am grateful that I am able to seek forgiveness for the things that I do wrong each and every day.  I am humbled by the gift of the atonement and for the sacrifice made on my behalf and for those that I love.  The knowledge of that gift is a comfort when I am feeling down - I remind myself that for no other reason other than the gift of repentance and forgiveness is a sure sign that my Heavenly Father love me.  These gifts are among my most prized treasures as well. 

Grateful Day 26: Brothers

I consider myself to be pretty lucky to live so close to my 3 brothers.  All growing up we were pretty close but then everyone moved away to start their own lives. A few years ago, everyone moved back close to one another and how much fun it has been.  

We are able to get together for holidays, parties and all types of occasions.  We are involved in our kids' lives and able to experience dance recitals, court of honors, priesthood ordinations and all types of monumental events.  

I don't tell them often enough but I love my three brothers, Brett, Scott, and Jared, very much and I consider them to be treasures in my life. 

Grateful Day 25: Patriarchal Blessings

In a 1997 Ensign article, Elder Richard D. Allred said "Patriarchal blessings are … similar to a road map that indicates the paths that may be traveled and destinations that may be reached if we stay within those paths."  Today, Brian and I were blessed to go with our boys to receive their patriarchal blessings.  What an amazing gift for our children to receive from their Heavenly Father.  I am humbled and grateful to be able to receive direct revelation from a loving Heavenly Father and grateful that my children are doing the things that keeps them worthy to receive those blessings. 

Grateful Day 24: Disneyland

Disneyland - September 2012

Anyone who know us knows that we are Disneyland freaks! We have had annual passes for almost 12 years and we go at least 3 times throughout the year.  When we first started going, Bryson wasn't even tall enough to ride all the rides when we started going and Hayden HATED all the characters! Now, even though they are older, they are the ones asking how many more days and planning our next trips. 

We love everything about it - the music, the rides, the churros but especially the way we feel when we are there.  We ask our boys all the time if they are sick of going to Disneyland but they always want to go there and answer with a resounding "no".  We love going with Ally and Kyle's family too.  Experiencing Disneyland through a princess' eyes is very different than a prince.   I do tend to go overboard with matching shirts and finding new ways to celebrate and I appreciate that my boys (especially Brian) always indulges me. 

The memories that I have with our family at Disneyland is some of my most prized treasures making Disneyland a place that I am very grateful for.

Grateful Day 23: Black Friday

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is to pour over the Black Friday and make a plan for the next day. We started at 7:00am and head to the first store, get in line and wait.  And then we go to the next store and repeat.  I will admit that there have been a few years that I have gotten some good deals but mainly, I go just to hang out with the girls and shop.  Today we returned home after 7pm so total hours of 15 and very tired but I am grateful for one solid day to be devoted to shopping and fun!!

Grateful Day 22: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of our favorite holidays.  The smell of turkey, rolls and pies cooking when you walk in is one of my favorite reminders of the holiday.  One of the most favorite traditions of Thanksgiving and the one that Brian looks forward to the most is Turkey Bowl.  All of our boys play along with tons of family and friends.  They have so much fun and for the most part all of them come out unscathed.  They will all be sore tomorrow but for today they are all young again.

We have so much to be thankful for this year,  As I have taken time out to think about all of the blessings I have and my what I am grateful for, I am humbled by how blessed I am.  We have so many exciting and new things to look forward to in the next year.  We hope that everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday.  Remember to take some time out to express your gratitude for the things and the people that you are thankful for.

Grateful Day 21: Joy of Motherhood

Growing up, I only imagined myself as a mom and wife.  I couldn't wait to have babies and be their mom.  One of the most important roles that I have is being a mom.  I love everything about the joy of motherhood.  I stayed at home with my boys until Bryson went to 2nd grade.  I loved being with my boys while they were learning to walk, talk and run so I didn't miss anything.  I love the relationship that I have with my boys and they way that they show their love for me.  I am so proud of the young men they are and the men they are becoming.  There are times that my boys demonstrate their love by opening my doors, helping me into the car, bringing me home sodas on their way home, running my errands and telling me about their day. I do not express my gratitude enough for my role as a mother and opportunity to be their refugee from life's storms.  I consider that gift to be one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 20: Music

As I was singing in my car this morning on my way to work, I realized how grateful I am for the gift of music in my life.  I have been surrounded by music my entire life.  In our home, music comes in all shapes and sizes.  Hearing our boys sing their favorite songs or in the ward choir as well as the late night guitar concerts are some of my favorite moments.  

One of my fondest memories is when they were little and they would sing along to the songs I was listening too.  One of the songs was Shania Twain's "She's Not Just a Pretty Face" and one of the phrases say -

"She has a fashion line
A journalist for "Time"
Coaches a football team
She's a geologist, a romance novelist

She is a mother of three"

Every time it would come to that part of the song, Hayden and Hunter would be singing along and say "...like you mommy" in perfect timing to the music and then go back to singing with the song.  I still hear them sing the words to this song every once in a while and remember them singing along and throwing in their own little words.  

 

Growing up, I remember Saturday morning waking up to music being played and it is one of my fondest memories.  It is a tradition that I have carried into my home and we usually have music playing and playing loud.  And I love it.

While I can play the organ and piano, singing is the type of music that I enjoy the most.  i love to sing all types of music - country, church, children's songs, rock, oldies and of course 1980's.  I love it all.  Although, I don't express my gratitude often, I am grateful for my musical talents and for the role that music plays in my life. 

Grateful Day 19: My Calling

When I was called to my current calling almost 2 years ago, to say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.  Right after our ward split, I was asked to be the Primary Chorister.  I was shell shocked.  Not only had I never been in Primary but being the chorister scared me to death.  The ladies who hold that calling are funny, creative and the kids love them - almost like a celebrity of the ward.  I couldn't imagine myself doing that.  I think I remember telling the bishop (and my husband who is in the bishopric) to go think about it again because I just couldn't believe it.  I prayed about it intently and accepted somewhat hesitantly.  I remember that when I was set apart that part of my blessing would be that I would be able to find the resilience and resources necessary to do my calling.  I felt so much better but my first couple of weeks I realized why.  Being the Primary chorister is a 1-act play with a 2 show minimum every single week.  Thankfully, many other very talented women have done this calling and have shared many of their experiences - what worked, what could've been better and so forth. 

About 6 months into my new calling, a dear friend of mine said that Primary was like the temple for children.  It was the first place they felt the Spirit, the first place their testimonies begin, and the songs that they learned would stay with them and perhaps carry them through difficult times in their life.  I realized that Primary chorister is much more than a 1-act play and I was and have been incredibly humbled since then for my calling.  I think that it is so much more for me than for any of those sweet little children.  I love going each week.  I love teaching them new songs and how to apply gospel principles to the songs.  I love helping them recognize their Heavenly Father's love through the Primary songs as well as watching my testimony grow through them and my own revelation that the songs are truly small and simple testimonies of the gospel.

Surprisingly I am sure to others as well as my self, I am sincerely grateful for my calling and for the time that I get to spend with the Primary children of Power Ranch 2nd ward each week.  It is truly a gift that I treasure. 

Grateful Day 18: Temples

It is so exciting to be driving anywhere by where we live and be able to see the new Gilbert temple.  I know that it is only a matter of time before construction and building start to block my view but there is a very calming peace that comes over me when I catch a glimpse of it or drive by it.  

I am grateful for temples and for the sacred and special work that happens within the walls of the temple.  I am grateful that I am sealed to the man that I love and our children are sealed to us as well.  I am extremely grateful to know that our family continues on in heaven and we will know those who have passed on from this life.  I love the peace and the serenity of being inside the temple and grateful that I live close enough to visit a temple often.  I do consider the Mesa and Gilbert temples to be treasures in my life. 

Grateful Day 17: Little Niceties

I am grateful for all the little things that I use everyday that I consider niceties.  One of the biggest is my cell phone.  I often think - how did we survive before having Smart Phones.  I remember pay phones, pagers, brick phones, flip phones and so forth.  Now, I have a mini computer at my fingertips.  I love, love, love my smart phone and can't imagine not having it.

I am grateful for apps on my Smart Phone to help me do all kinds of things like find my phone, find my boys, get waiting times at Disneyland, figure out gratuity, keep track of everyone's calendar and help me keep up with all the things I need to-do.

I am also grateful for DVR - When I am able to watch a show that I love and bypass all the commercials or pause a show because I need to tend to something, I know that I am blessed.  I find myself getting annoyed now when I don't have a show recorded and have to watch it live because I can't speed through it. 

Mostly, I am grateful that I am able to live in a time when we have all the modern conveniences as well as all the niceties that we enjoy.  I KNOW that I have never express gratitude for those things but I do consider them to be my treasures. 

Grateful Day 16: Allyson and Kyle

Most of you know that we are very close to my sister and her family.  I don't think I express my gratitude enough for Allyson and Kyle.  I can't count the number of times that we have needed help and they were the first ones to come and help as well as stay till the bitter end.  

Kyle saw a picture of Allyson in our home and wanted to meet her.  He flew up within a few days of seeing the picture and a year later, they were married.  Who doubts Heavenly Father doesn't have a hand in ALL things?  Kyle is a great husband and father as well as uncle and brother-in-law.  He does a lot for our family and I know that I don't express my appreciation enough for him.

Today is Allyson's birthday.  When my mom was pregnant with Allyson, I remember praying every night asking, pleading and sometimes begging for a sister.  Even the doctors were surprised when Allyson was born.  I loved her from the minute I saw her.  She was so sweet, so kind and just always happy.  She couldn't walk into a room without dancing.  She would sing while doing chores.  She was just so fun to be around and that hasn't changed one bit.  

We have been lucky enough to live by them in several locations and I love that.  I love being able to talk to her whenever and share experiences with her.  Allyson is very different than I am - some would say the polar opposite.  She is quiet, I am loud.  She is easy going - I am... not so much.  But even though we are so different, I consider her to be my best friend. 

I love Allyson and Kyle very much.  We are very fortunate to have them in our lives and in our boys' lives.  I am very grateful for them and consider them to be one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 15: The Gospel

I am grateful for the gospel and the invaluable part that it plays in my life.  I am grateful for the gift of the atonement and the gift of repentance.  I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of temple work, temple marriage and the gift that families are together forever.  I am grateful for all of the teachers and leaders who have helped shape the lives of my children and my life as well.  I am grateful for the priesthood and for all the sacred, special blessings that go along with priesthood ordinances and blessings.  I am grateful for the sweet promptings of the Holy Ghost and the whisperings that we receive when we least expect it.  I am grateful for the Primary children that I have the privilege of getting to spend time with each Sunday.  I love my Heavenly Father and I recognize His hands in all things.  I don't think I express my gratitude often enough for the gospel and how much it influences my life.  The gospel is one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 14: My Children's Friends

Our trip to Disneyland with these 6 awesome kids!!

The older our boys get, the more I am beginning to realize how grateful I am for their choice in good friends.  All of our boys along with Keila, Tyler, Jessica, Haylee, and Connor J get along so great and together help each other everyday.  They have pulled each other through many new and exciting things over the past few years and it is fun to see them growing together as they are each becoming their own person. I am grateful for the young adults that my boys associate with and I am not sure that I have ever expressed my sincere gratitude for them all.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Grateful Day 13: My Dad

There is a Primary song that goes:

"My daddy is my favorite pal and he helps me everyday.  

It's plain to see I want to be like him in every way. 

He teaches me that honesty in best in all I do.

I'm very glad that he's my dad,

And I know he loves me too."

(Being in Primary has helped me realize that Primary songs sum up feelings and testimony the best!)

My dad is one of the greatest men I know.  He consistently shows selflessness, kindness and offers help and guidance whenever called on.  Living with him, I have seen first hand how he goes out of his way to help us and our boys with anything from laundry, to chauffeuring, and refereeing.  He is a great example to me and I love him very much! 

My dad is one of the greatest treasures in my life that I don't express my gratitude for him nearly enough. 

Grateful Day 12: My Mom

I am so thankful for a mom who is involved and wants to be a part of my life.  The greatest attribute about my mom is that she is almost always positive.  Where ever she is, that is the best place to be - no matter where it is.  She always tries to encourage us to not be discouraged and not give into the disappointments of the world.  Very rarely do you see her sad or discouraged.  Even with all the many changes this year that they have had, she still chooses to be wisely optimistic and helps teach me to be that way as well. 

Since we have all living together, my boys have spent more time with her.  Many times you will hear laughter and joking coming out of her room with one or all of our boys together.  I love her very much and I admire her greatly.  She is another one of my most prized treasures. 

Grateful Day 11: Freedom I Enjoy

With today being Veteran's Day, I am grateful for this country that I live in and for all of the freedoms we enjoy.  I am grateful that I am able to worship the way I want to worship, pursue the things that I want to pursue, love who I want to love and do what I want to do without fear or retribution.  I am grateful to all of those who have given their lives to protect the freedoms we enjoy. 

 I am grateful for this country and unfortunately I don't express my gratitude for the freedom I enjoy. 

Grateful Day 10: Tender Mercies

 I am grateful for tender mercies and all that goes along with them. Tender mercies are those moments that are mostly small and simple but can have profound impact. I have tender mercies in my life all the time. For me, I have realized that there are times where things happen that are unpleasant but they help protect us from things that would be much more painful or hurt so much worse.  And when I realize that I have been given that gift, I try to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and blesses me with tender mercies every day - some big and so small and I don't always express my gratitude for them.  I consider them one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 9: Diet Coke and Sonic

For as long as I can remember, I have loved Diet Coke.  So you can imagine how happy and grateful I was this year when the church came out and "the church does not prohibit the use of caffeine".  Oh happy day!! Now the church didn't say to go and drink up a bunch of caffeinated drinks but now I don't have so much guilt associated with it.  There are very few things that can bring the same reaction as an ice cold Rt. 44 Sonic Diet Coke.  I am grateful for Sonic and Diet Coke.  I don't have to feel guilty about it now either.  

Grateful Day 8: Chloe and Peyton

 How cute are they?  I just love, love, love them.  I have such a special bond with these two beautiful girls.  I adore them.  I was there when they were both born and now we are living with them and I just love it.  I love that our boys act more like their brothers than cousins.  Our boys just adore them and love caring for them.  They have a great love for one another that is just so fun to watch.

 I just can't believe Chloe is.  When did she get so big?!?  I love watching her learning and growing, even the growing pains are so special.  Chloe has one of the sweetest hearts and is just good.  She loves being a big sister and will play school with Peyton almost every day.  She loves to twirl, dance and sing.  Chloe also loves anything blingy and sparkly.  If something doesn't have sparkly then she doesn't want it.  She recently learned to jump rope and I love watching her jump especially when she gets the boys to jump with her.  Chloe is one very special little girl and I love her very much.  She is one of my greatest treasures and I adore her!

Peyton has me and our boys wrapped around her little fingers.  She just learned to say all the boys' names and it is so fun to hear her calling them.  She is so full of energy and is constantly learning.  One of the most favorite things she does is come into my room, gets on our bed, and watches TV with me.  She will sit there just watching - not that I think she understands completely  but she just wants to be with me which I love, love, love!  Peyton wants to grow up very fast and stay up with the big kids but everyone is trying to keep her a baby for as long as we can.  I love Peyton very much and she too is one of my greatest treasures. 

Grateful Day 7: Knowledge

Today, when everyone is filled with fear, uncertainty and anxiety, I am grateful in knowing that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me and my needs so I don't have to be afraid. 

Grateful Day 6: Freedom and the Right to Vote

Today, what I am grateful for is simple but I often do not express my gratitude enough for the freedom I have in this country and especially today, my right to vote and have a voice (even a tiny voice) in the leaders of our country.  I appreciate all of those men and women who have sacrificed so much to give me these rights and I remember often that freedom is not free - it does come with a price. 

Go and express your gratitude today for your freedom and right to vote. 

Grateful Day 5: Bryson Albertus

 What a blessing Bryson is to our family.  Hayden was only 20 months old when I found out that Bryson was coming to our family but we were just as thrilled. My pregnancy with Bryson was less than ideal but and I was hospitalized for the majority of my pregnancy.  Through that time though I bonded with Bryson and when he was born, I was more in love than I thought possible. We thought Bryson was going to be a girl so the name we had picked out would not work.  Bryson’s name is a combination of Brian’s son and Albertus is Brian’s grandpa Albert that he was very close too. Once we saw him and as his personality has developed we knew that the name for him was perfectly fitting.

As many of you know, Bryson has struggled through a multitude of health challenges and on more times than I would like to count, Bryson should no longer be with us which has convinced us that Bryson is a very special gift and his work on this Earth must be great. His physical challenges still hamper him today but through it all he is always has a positive attitude. 

Bryson is a perfectionist and everything that he sets his mind too he accomplishes. He sets personal goals and nothing will dissuade him from reaching that goal.  We have witnessed times when he is out running at 10:00pm because he has a personal fitness goal.  He always ahead in school and in fact, will figure out the amount of school needed to finish so that he can take time off for traditional school breaks because he wants to be off with his friends.   

Bryson loves seminary and honors his priesthood every day.  He is secretary in the Teacher’s quorum and is so organized that there are times that the leaders call Bryson to find out the details of an activity.  Bryson loves with his whole heart and is always quick with words of encouragement, hugs, and loves. He has a unique gift and a special connection with the Spirit to know when someone is struggling and what they may need.  

The other thing Bryson loves is Disneyland.  We usually go 3x a year and usually on our way home from a trip, he is busy planning the next one.  He truly embodies the Disney spirit and magic and carries that with him all of the time.

 

Bryson – I love you more than you could ever possibly imagine. You are the perfect end to our family and you make our earthly family complete. I know that you are truly a special gift from our Heavenly Father and you are truly one of my greatest treasures.

Grateful Day 4: Hayden David

One of my most special gifts from Heavenly Father is our son, Hayden David.  Hayden entered this world under crazy circumstances and he was in a huge hurry to join our family.  Hayden was born 7 week early and was placed on a respirator after he had stopped breathing twice on the way to the NICU.  He was born with a hole in his heart and a host of other issues.  We had a different name for Hayden picked out but met our pediatrician during those very difficult first days and ended up naming Hayden after him.  From the moment, he entered our lives, I was smitten.  He wrapped his way into my heart and became an integral part of our family.

Hayden also carries my dad's name as his middle name and to say that they are similar is an understatement.  Hayden was blessed with the Hadlock temper which when he was little caused us some interesting moments but one of the things that I most admire about Hayden is that in his short years, he has learned how to control his temper and not let it get the best of him.  Hayden is proud of the fact that both of his names have significant meaning but he is most proud of the fact that he is named after his Grampy,

Hayden is what we call the peacekeeper of our home.   Hayden is one of those very easy-going guys.  He loves his family and his family loves him more than he knows.  Chloe and Peyton love to play and just hang out with him and he is so great with them as well - always willing to color, play dollies or watch Strawberry Shortcake so that they aren't watching alone.  He honors his priesthood and is usually the "go-to" guy when things need to be done because of his enormous respect for doing the right thing. 

Hayden, I want you to know how much you are loved and how much you are a special part of our family.  You are the very special balance of both your dad and I.  We recognize very often your amazing spirit and humbling calmness.  Never forget that you are loved and I am grateful for you.